GHOSTRESCUE.COM
A short story I wrote while on CSM Creative Writing course in 2023. It's about an exorcism via Zoom.
Trustpilot – Clairvoyants – GhostRescue – All reviews – Gets the job done, but read this first! – 2 stars
My new flat had very evident ghost issues. In terms of value for money, the situation was not that much better than the flatshare that I just left. Helena's service has been helpful, however caused significant damage to my personal property, which I have to flag.
Issues started shortly after I moved in, with the chandelier going on and off by itself. The electrician said wiring was solid. He joked: "must be a mean spirit", and charged me a hundred quid.
I burned some sage. In fact, I burned a lot of sage. I was going to bed in a cloud of smoke every night. It got worse then: the ghost switched to throwing things from shelves.
Disturbing, but I kept quiet, because I really wanted to host a party. First time I had some friends over, just as we settled in, a huge box rolled off the closet. Mortifying. "It's funny, you work hard to be independent, get your own place, and still end up living with a sociopath… just an invisible one”. We laughed about it, but they excused themselves one by one shortly after.
I had to take action. The advice online revolved around making contact. But what if it started responding? I couldn't risk it. So instead, I booked a meeting with my bank.
In the meeting, the very stern bank clerk kept asking if I was struggling with repayments. I felt so embarrassed: I did have money! I was just going mad. "I just feel like maybe, and I'm not sure, but, the flat is, maybe, haunted? And it was never mentioned... on the lease?"
He didn't flinch, and advised referring the issue to the council. He kept talking about early repayments or something. Finally, he walked me out. Back on the doorstep he handed me a sticky note: "if anyone asks, you found this online," That's how I found out about Helena's GhostRescue.
Helena claimed to provide "negative energy removal service" fully remote. She got in touch immediately – as if she knew – and reassured me that in cases like mine there's nothing to worry about, and complications were "very unlikely".
We've set up a Skype, I left the window open and went out for an hour. When I came back, the room almost felt bigger. It worked.
I came up to my laptop to check on Helena. It was frozen with her face still on screen. I tried restarting it, but as I found later, the motherboard was toast! Helena said that when the laptop is set right next to the open window (which it was), the spirit might sometimes "mistakenly entrap itself" in the broadband on the way out.
I haven't had ghost issues since. However, I had to buy a new laptop, and my wifi has been very unstable. Two stars. Mixed impression overall.
